Future Predictions

I received a tarot card reading whilst at a boutique with the women of my family. My mother was skeptical, worried he was a con man. I, however, knew he was legitimate. It was obvious in the way he drew on his mustache, goatee, and jaw-lining beard. He must have used a high quality crayon because only people with eyes could see that his face was hairless.
I was first in line for the reading. I don't know what I wanted to hear(that's a lie, I'm a girl who has a boyfriend and a wedding board on Pinterest, we all know what I wanted to hear), but I was open to anything. My first card told me I would be receiving a gift of money. Whether that was referring to the ten dollars my mom gave me to pay the man or the grant I recently applied for, I do not know. He then told me that I should go on the upcoming trip I was debating about. I took that to mean I should go to Disneyland with my best friend, thinking I would pay for it with the gift of money I would be receiving soon. That's obviously what it's meant for.
My next card told me I would see an old friend soon. He said someone from high school with whom I've lost touch will pay me a visit. I'm not sure who he means, for I'm certain everyone I knew in high school has forgotten my name. But, being an optimist, I will keep my schedule clear for the rest of the year should someone stop by. If said person is reading this, my name is Sherece, and I am free most nights and all day Sunday. Bring a gift.
Those are the only cards that remained in my mind. My immediate future looks brighter than a tanning bed.
Except for the card that told me I would get in an accident soon. Bring me flowers when I'm in the hospital.
I like purple ones.

A Fresh Start.

I started reading my blog from freshman year, and though I laughed at my wittiness(I'm not ashamed), I mostly thought I was incredibly annoying. All of the font types and colors and sizes were give me a massive case of Shut The Hell Up.
And so, nearly a year after my last entry, I have decided to start up a fresh, new blog. Think of it as a pre-new year's resolution, if you will. My goal is to get things off my embarrassingly small chest while being funny enough to make you giggle. It may or may not turn out like that, so don't hold those high expectations against me.
All you need to know is that I will keep nothing hidden. I swear like an angry sailor and I fancy having some risqué-ness in my life.
I do hope you find it entertaining.